Bismillah.
Do you know that feeling when you’re looking forward to a trip?
Or a food everyone raves about—“you HAVE to try this!”
Or a movie that’s supposedly SOOO good you must see it?
And then…
It’s underwhelming.
You’re disappointed.
Like you missed that little itch in your brain you were hoping would be scratched.
This is what life can feel like when we walk through it with constantly high expectations.
When we expect other people to behave a certain way.
When we expect our careers, relationships, or healing journeys to progress at the pace we think they should.
When we hold tight to a picture of how things “must” turn out.
The problem?
This kind of expectation has a numbing effect on the joy waiting for us in the present.
It taints the lessons we could learn, the blessings we already have, and the relationships that might grow beautifully—if only we let them breathe.
💭 Redefining Success
Most people think success = money, status, recognition.
But success can mean so many things:
🌱 A woman serving her family with love—she’s successful.
📚 The one who longed for a degree and earned it—she’s successful.
🌊 The man who dreamed of sailing the world and did it, even if he’s broke—he’s successful.
Yet even when we achieve what we set out to do, expectations can still sabotage our contentment.
Why?
Because we tied our happiness to a specific feeling, a certain reaction from others, a level of recognition no one promised us.
We made our peace dependent on something outside of us.
😈 The Trap of Shayṭān
This is one of Shayṭān’s quietest traps:
🔸 Ungratefulness.
🔸 Comparison.
🔸 Obsessing over outcomes instead of embracing what Allah gives.
Allah reminds us:
And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you; but if you are ungrateful, indeed, My punishment is severe.’”
When we’re fixated on our narrow picture of success, we risk being blind to Allah’s far greater plan for us.
🌸 The Illusion of Control
I once met a girl who scared me a little.
Within ten minutes of talking, she laid out her “life plan” as if it was already written:
💬 “I’ll finish my studies in 2 years, spend a year abroad, come back for my master’s. My boyfriend and I will move in together, and after graduation, we’ll have a child.”
It sounded… airtight.
But all I could think was: “How do you know? How can you be sure?”
What if she fails?
What if the relationship doesn’t last?
What if her health doesn’t allow children?
I didn’t say anything—it would’ve shattered her.
But I couldn’t help thinking how little we actually control.
Basically, only our own thoughts, feelings, actions, and how we respond to life’s tests.
Everything else—a massive, incalculable amount of “everything”—is entirely outside our hands.
Allah says:
“And never say of anything, ‘Indeed, I will do that tomorrow,’ without adding, ‘if Allah wills.’”
🤲 The Antidote: Tawakkul
We need to breathe. To relax. To have tawakkul.
Having tawakkul doesn’t mean sitting idle.
It means doing everything within our power—striving for excellence—and then…
Letting go.
Trusting Allah to carry us the rest of the way.
“And put your trust in Allah. And sufficient is Allah as Disposer of affairs.”
“So whoever puts his trust in Allah—then He is sufficient for him.”
Tie your camel. Work hard.
Then hand over the handle to the One who knows and owns the outcome.
💔 A Hard Lesson
The biggest disappointments in my life came from expecting people to be different than they were.
To treat me better than they did.
To feel different about me than they did.
As a child, my grandparents gave us money as their way of showing love. So I grew up equating “grandparents” with “gifts.”
When they didn’t give, I felt hurt.
Even though I wasn’t entitled to anything.
As an adult, I fell into the same trap—expecting my partner to love me like a movie character, only to have those expectations crushed again and again.
It hurt so deeply because I thought I was entitled to a certain kind of treatment.
But the truth is:
No one owes you anything.
Read that again.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
Do good to those who wrong you, and expect no reward from people; expect your reward only from Allah.
Good comes to those who do good—without expecting anything in return.
🌟 The Shift
We can’t control outcomes.
We can’t control people.
But we can meet—and exceed—our own expectations.
Our ultimate goal isn’t a degree, a marriage, a business.
It shouldn’t be.
It’s Allah’s pleasure and Jannah.
When we shift our focus there, everything else becomes smaller.
Lighter.
Less urgent.
“Indeed, with Allah is the best reward for those who do good.”
Take a deep breath.
Release the picture you’re clinging to.
And I know you’re clinging to something.
Everyone is.
It’s human.
That’s why Allāh told us what to do, when we catch ourselves in the midst of having expectations that could hurt us in the end.
Work hard, trust Allah, and watch Him replace your plans with something far more beautiful.
That’s everything I have for you for today.
Thank you for reading until here.
السلام عليكم
Sara